Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Romans 5

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings,because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.  But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 
Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.


Thursday, July 27, 2017

How do we find our true purpose?
Is it something we're born with?
Is something we must learn over time?


Thursday, February 2, 2017

For how long yet?

Last night, for sure, was the worst night ever. Was an insomnia nightmare.
I still remember the pain, I felt inside, I could hear the sound of me screaming, like was somebody else, and I remember thinking that girl screaming...she is not going to survive,
If? these things continuing to happen.
I felt dead for a moment. I thought I was better about many things, but I realized yesterday that I wasn't sure about anything anymore. I don't understand or I don't want to understand at all.
Cannot sleep well for days and when I finally fall asleep for like 15 minutes, I am having those creepiest dreaming that I cannot explain, cannot even understand myself. Today I felt my organs shaking like earthquake inside me and my body desperate for a rest during the work, and every day this time I start to feel like I had rest, it is weird, because in the end of night, when I get in the bed, I know that will happen all over again, and it is repeatedly continuing for days. Most days is not that bad, but some days it is bad. I know something is not right and same time I know it is right. Why is feeling so wrong doing the right thing. Maybe I am not doing the right thing as I think. I don't know for how long those things will continue to happen, but Something I know... I won’t survive, if it not gets better.






Tuesday, January 17, 2017


Sometimes I love to pretend I am alone, 
Like completly alone, 
Maybe post apocalypse or a plague, whatever...
No one left to act like normal for,
No need to hide who I really am and would be...
FREEING.

#myown



#notmyown

Friday, December 30, 2016

Friday, June 17, 2016

Nothing is gonna change my world...

Today I realized that most people do really care about themselves only...
Doesn't matter how much you say you like them or how much care you do about their  feelings, it's all individualism nowadays for most of the people, it's  like,  you are welcome to my life but touch nothing please.
But Beat me, hate me, judge me, because comes a time that you don't see bad things as bad things anymore.
Even when bad things happens to you, you realized that's is what makes you  in what you really are.
It's all ordeals, probation, experiences.
There is no lost in life, if is not blessing, it's lesson.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Going mad??





I think the biggest misconception about me is that people really don't know who I really am.
But most of them act as they know. 
I am just crazy person who can
 get along sometimes. 






Memories...

Most of times, I dreamed about it.
Other times it was the smallest of things.
Some distinct smells.
The sound of the kids playing outside.
The bright of the sunshine on my arms.
The sound of the trees leafs do when is windy.
Small things, really small things.
That's when the memories came rushing back.
I can feel my mind going far way back and I can't do it anything to stop it. 
And I can't understand why.
I've always wondered what would've happened if I hadn't gotten there that day.
But fate, like life, is unpredictable. 
You never really know where you're going to.
You never know who you're gonna meet. 
Nobody is perfect and when memories of our past come, it's really easy to second guess ourselves.
Are there things that we did that we regret?
Or things that we didn't do that we wish we had? 
I feel.
I love.
I hurt.
I cry, but no ones really knows what is truly in our hearts.
No one don't get it, do they?
I'd rather die than have anyone know.


Sunday, April 10, 2016

Between two worlds...

"Purify your heart before you let love in, 
for even the sweetest honey goes sour in a dirty container." Pitágoras 

 I'm scare of the day my life will flash before my eyes, 
not scare of the death, but wanna make sure it's worth watching.
I have been feeling so small, it's inside my head, I know nothing,
still learning how to love, afraid, confused, misunderstood.
It's really hard to love people and do not wait to be loved back.
Makes me feel empty, it's like been sinking in deep waters knowing that we will die, 
but still want to feel that last gasp of air leaving your body and expect that everything 
is going to be just fine. 

I just don't want to be afraid to take one step forward.
I'm in love and I wish he's in love with me either.  
But if don't, what can I really do? 
It's like someone always says to me..."if one doesn't want, two don't fight."



❤️



Thursday, March 31, 2016

I want to break free.





Horrible night, 
Horrible nightmares.
I could feel the pain under my skin after waking up, 
I could hear the sound of the glasses breaking. 
Only after I opened my eyes, everything stopped and I realized that was just a bad dream. 
People say that we should leave the past in the past, 
but they don't say how the past should stay there. 
It's keeping reminding me that is there, doesn't matter how much harder I try to forget. 
It's keeping coming every night, the past don't let me go. 




Sunday, December 13, 2015

Yes I really wish that.

Why everytime I am getting better, something bad happen to pull me down.





Saturday, December 5, 2015

Hurt feelings and unfair treatment report.



Why some stuffs look so much confusing for me than to others.
Why can I have so many things done to others than for myself.
Always seems that I am the one who want more of things go well in a relationship than the other part, friends or dates.
Do I look that stupid? Am I that stupid?

Why theoretically I can think I am done with some stuff and practically I just accept the apology we keep going like I wasn't hurt but in fact I am.
I have this friend that I consider my best friend and he also said the same thing, but is not what look like, he never has time for me when I need him, it's always later for me, but when is the opposite I need to make time cause he gets mad if I don't and I don't like to make him sad and I feel bad about if I am indifferent.
Now I am dating this guy that I am really liking him already, but he keeps doing this little things that makes me sad and he always says that he is sorry and he will change, but then do the same thing again and again, when I try to end the relationship, he has this look  that I can't really end it.
I really wish to react differently, but I always think that I would hurt someone's feelings.
Even strangers are so reckless to my feelings.
What is really happening?
Why Do I feel like I am always sad and about to get into depression, I've tried some many times to not feel this way.
It seems that the more I try to be comprehensive, more people are careless to me or my feelings.
Lately I feel so stupid cause I can not do anything about it, as much as I try, I keep failing to myself.
Is there really somebody who can really care about me?